


the one where i question everything about you

by arataka



Series: hellstar [1]
Category: DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV)
Genre: F/M, Not Beta Read, john doesn't know how to use technology, takes place between e9 and e10, zari's frustrated with how little info there is abt john on google
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-09
Updated: 2020-08-09
Packaged: 2021-03-06 02:40:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,642
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25796008
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/arataka/pseuds/arataka
Summary: right when zari thought she was getting somewhere with john, forming some kind of a companionship with him during their escapade at his home, it crumbles. she didn't even know his birthday. what if today was his birthday and she didn't know and didn't give him a present?why did she care?
Relationships: John Constantine/Zari Tomaz | Zari Tarazi
Series: hellstar [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1874587
Comments: 3
Kudos: 38





	the one where i question everything about you

john constantine was _annoying_. from his horrible terrible non-matching outfit he wore daily that made him look like a reject from doctor who, to his weird spells and magic that couldn't be researched within a few google searches.

zari found that out the hard way— by typing in queries such as "weird latin spells" or "how to exorcise demons", only to get results including moon witches and rose water. there were two problems:

1) john wasn't a moon witch and instead a practitioner of dark magic,

2) zari knew that john definitely _did not_ use rose water. the jars that lined the kitchen of john's house filled with ( _live_? she shudders at the thought) cockroaches and lizard parts told her all she needed to know. 

what she didn't know, zari realizes, is basically anything about john. it drove her up the wall— she was so used to just being able to google people and get some sort of background check on them. with everyone else it was rather easy, typing in "nathaniel heywood" into the search bar gave her a lot of results. "mick rory" gave him a horrible review. there wasn't much on ava but she didn't care; at least ava wasn't a walking fortress with impenetrable walls. 

"john constantine" gave almost no results. not even dead people who shared the same name as him. back when she had helped john look for more information on the loom, and she was momentarily left alone in his study, there weren't even any diaries she could read (not that she would invade his privacy like that, anyway). not even a single warlock history book slash encyclopedia or something of the like, where she could look up john's name. 

at some point zari suspected that she'll have to go onto the dark web and find out if there's some hidden dark magic forum she's been missing out on and look for any information on him there, but she stops herself.

1) she doesn't really trust herself on the dark web, even with her hacking skills and gideon's help. one wrong, stupid move would bring the end of her career.

2) was internet stalking too far? too much? for someone she could just talk to instead?

3) does john even know how to use the internet, let alone the dark web? maybe he just communicates with magical owls or something.

but it ticked her off, not knowing anything about him. not knowing what brand of lip balm he uses that made his lips so soft and sweet at the touch when they kissed during romeo & juliet even though he drinks and smokes to get rid of his life's problems faster. maybe she should ask him for the brand name. or maybe she could just kiss him again and find out by remembering the flavor. twice, perhaps, because the third time is the charm. she almost got that chance when they were dangerously close moments before finding the third ring—

zari shakes her head to and fro. no no _no_ , that's stupid. the stupidest idea she's thought up. she shouldn't care. she _doesn't_ care. 

it slips out during the next book club meeting when she's 99% sure that john is sleeping the day away at his house, probably happy to be at his home instead of a 1918 version of it. (not like it's changed very much anyway.)

"i'm mad at john," zari answers without filter when ava asks about her tense posture. sara leans forward in her chair as if she was about to speak, but ava gives her a look that makes her slump right back onto the leather. "i don't know anything about him— the man has no internet presence! probably doesn't even show up on the census!" a pause. then, in a more hushed voice, " _would_ he even show up on the census?" are people who literally don't have their souls anymore be eligible for the uk census?

finally, sara can speak. "so you want to be friends with john? i thought that already happened when you nabbed the third ring."

"no," zari replied, "i— i don't think we're friends. i don't know if he _considers_ me a friend." she waves her hand as if she was waving the problem away before grabbing a glass of water, "i don't know. i really shouldn't be caring this much when i have better things to think about."

right when zari thought she was getting somewhere with john, forming some kind of a companionship with him during their escapade at his home, it crumbles. she didn't even know his birthday. what if today was his birthday and she didn't know and didn't give him a present? 

why did she care? 

with confused expressions, ava and sara slowly turned to each other. "listen, zari, john's an extremely intricate and complicated person. there's no way you'll know everything about him right away, and i doubt anyone actually does," ava tells her. "but... _do_ you want to be friends with him?"

zari sits up, glass slamming on the table a bit too hard to drive her next point home. " _no_." 

it's rather silent in the parlor, as if they were waiting for something to happen to cast away the cloud of awkwardness that hung over them. then, footsteps- loafers, zari recognizes the sound yet not the person wearing them- could be heard as someone approached the parlor. wandering around, john found himself near the entrance looking like a puppy who's lost his favorite bone.

"zari—" he locks eyes with her and she proceeds to gulp the rest of her water, "oh, there you are, sweetheart." sweetheart, love, she found it _sick_ how such endearments could roll off his tongue without hesitation and the way it made her heart beat a tiny bit faster just as easily. "i kinda need your assistance with this thing in the lab if you're not..." he looks to the other girls, the rest of the book club as john trailed off, "...busy." 

"oh, she's _totally_ free," charlie says as she all but tosses zari out of her chair. zari nearly falls off and stands up with her fists clenched about to protest, but charlie simply nods towards john and zari complies. 

in the lab, she instantly catches what john was referring to as the florescent lights shine on the tablet at just the right angle. "you got a tablet?!" zari turns from the tablet that was now in her hands, then to john, then back to the tablet. "i thought you said you don't own a phone."

he shrugs. "well, it ain't a phone, innit? i asked gideon to fabricate one for me and out popped this thing." the angry fist he shakes up at the ceiling- at gideon, one would presume- goes unnoticed by zari, but the cameras see everything. "the thing is, i don't know how to do anything with it. gideon talked about some stupid thing called ' _netflix_ ' and i gave up after trying to figure out emails."

"so you want me to help you access netflix?"

"...yes." now that he's heard it in words, he realizes how stupid it sounds.

"you know you have to pay for it, right?" zari waves it off, "whatever, you can just use my account for it."

she should facepalm herself, if doing so wouldn't cause john's tablet to fall to the laboratory's cold metal floor. not even officially friends yet, and she's giving him her netflix password.

john doesn't seem to understand the intimacy of the act, though. all he does is nod and utter a 'thank you' as he watches zari swiftly open the device. he should really put a password on it.

zari gasps and john tenses with the thought that he's already fucked everything up. can demons possess ipads? he leans forward, close enough where he's millimeters away from resting his chin on zari's shoulder as he looks over it to the screen. "what's happened with it?"

"your wallpaper..." zari turns on her heel and she's forced to ignore the sudden lack of distance between her and john, instead focusing on the default wallpaper depicting a gradient from red to an even darker red. "it's so... _boring_! don't you have any pictures you want to put your wallpaper as? a picture of you and your friends you can set it to?"

john shrugs. "i don't have any photos, so... no. you could take one now if you want, love."

she freezes. first she recommends putting a picture of himself and friends as his wallpaper and then he suggests that she takes a picture now. did that mean... "you mean... a selfie? the two of us?"

"yeah." he says it so nonchalantly that zari pins him as annoying again, "unless you don't want to, then i'll have that ' _boring_ ' wallpaper forever, i 'uppose." john makes little air quotation marks with his fingers when he says 'boring,' and it serves as the final nail in the coffin.

zari settles into her usual selfie pose with john next to her, the tablet making a shuttering sound as her thumb clicks the small white circle. a few clicks later, both john's homescreen and lockscreen were now a picture of zari smiling with john's hand on her shoulder, trying his best to look happy without a smile. (upon closer inspection, she could see the upwards curve of his lips. you can't hide anything from zari tarazi.)

with netflix downloaded on the device and john logged into zari's account with his own profile added onto it, john leaves her in the lab with another 'thank you, sweetheart' and a wink before going off to god-knows-where to watch who-knows-what. 

mentally exhausted, zari slides backwards into a chair in the lab with a smile. friends. they were friends. and as a start, being friends was enough for now.


End file.
